Steamboat Willie

skinny ankles!!!

So… what happened to Thursday night college football? This used to be a thing!!! Like, a real weekly ritual — a big-enough stage that you’d plan dinner around it, flip on ESPN, and watch some random ACC or Big East game that somehow felt important because it was the only show in town. Now? Crickets. One MAC game here, a stray C-USA game there, but nothing that feels like appointment viewing. I know the NFL muscled in, I know coaches hate short weeks, and I know TV networks reshuffled the whole calendar… but still. For a sport that clings to tradition, it’s wild how quickly we all pretended Thursday nights never mattered.

Say what you want about Schloss (and it better be good), but the guy has a PhD in building middle infields. Wherever he goes, the shortstop and second baseman play like they’re auditioning for a fielding clinic video. Smooth hands, great turns, zero panic. It’s been his calling card forever.

LSU is putting on an all-time clown show right now, and it has nothing to do with on-field play calling. From the messy coaching search to the way they handled Brian Kelly’s exit, it’s hard to find anything that resembles competence in Baton Rouge. The “presidential search” looked less like a real process and more like a performance to justify a hire that was already decided. Meanwhile, the Brian Kelly situation has gone from bad to completely unbelievable. LSU is now arguing he wasn’t officially fired after the A&M game and is suddenly trying to label it a “for cause” firing — months later — to dodge a $50M buyout. Never mind that they publicly framed it as a performance issue at the time. This is the kind of chaos that scares off top coaches. How do you convince an A-list candidate to take the job when the school can’t even agree on who had the authority to fire the last guy? Or when they’ll rewrite the timeline on a termination after the fact? Someone will take the LSU job — it’s still LSU — but the way they’re handling things is doing real damage to the brand. Coaches want stability, clarity, and a department that honors its contracts. Right now LSU is offering none of that. At this point, the only consistent thing coming out of Baton Rouge is confusion.

UT 24-Ga 16 Georgia’s offense isn’t the old Death Star — most of what they do in the air runs through the tight ends with Delp and Luckie off play-action, and Branch is basically an extension of the run game with a 3-yard target depth. They want safe throws and long drives, not explosives. Texas should’ve won the SEC Championship last year, and this matchup looks even more manageable now. If the Horns tackle in space and take away the play-action comfort throws to the TEs, Georgia gets pushed out of its rhythm fast.

UT 24-Ga 16

The Century Club!!! Hook ‘Em

Gerry, how should I feel about this happening?

This offer makes sense to me — Sark’s always going to take the skyscraper types when they’re special, but he clearly doesn’t want a room full of one body type. You need the big catch-radius guys and the sudden, explosive separators. Both Bishop and Bey bring the jugo (juice), and check the “if he touches it, you hold your breath” box. College football keeps proving speed scares defensive coordinators more than anything, and Bey’s track numbers are silly. If Sark sees a QB with that kind of burst who already flashed at WR in camp? Yeah, that offer deserves our attention.

Turns out 10.23 solves a lot of route-tree questions

Obviously Akina isn’t a long term solution for many reasons.

If Caldwell starts, don’t expect fireworks — expect efficiency. He’s not Arch with the legs or the flair, but he’s a veteran who won’t blink under pressure. Sark’s not ripping up the playbook; it’ll just lean more on timing, quick throws, and steady drives. It’s not the sizzle, but it might be the steak — and that’s perfectly fine against Vandy. Sometimes you don’t need flash; you just need someone to steer the bus straight and get everyone home with a win.

So LSU is still trying to cook at the crawfish boil — but have burned down the kitchen in the process!!!

Fair point — I get the career ladder logic. Every coach wants to climb from assistant to coordinator to head guy and cash in when the time’s right. But let’s not act like Stillwater is some golden opportunity right now. Boone Pickens isn’t around writing blank checks anymore, and OSU’s wallet suddenly looks a lot thinner when the donor dust settles. If I’m Collin Klein, I’m thinking long and hard before trading stability for a gig where you’ve got to rebuild an offense with duct tape and hope the Powerball hits to fund NIL and facility upgrades. Major might fit there, sure — but only if he’s bringing his own checkbook and a bottle of Tums.

This one feels like an early-kick rock fight. Vanderbilt’s tough enough to make Texas earn it, but let’s be real — they’re walking into a bad matchup. Texas’ defense has started to click again, and when that front seven brings pressure the way they did against OU, it changes everything. On offense, Sark isn’t reinventing the wheel. Whether it’s Arch or Caldwell, the plan stays the same: get the ball out fast, stay balanced, and let the playmakers go to work. It doesn’t have to be flashy — it just has to be efficient. Vandy might hang in for a while, but the depth, the home crowd, and the overall talent gap should start to tilt things Texas’ way by the fourth quarter. This team has been learning how to win the hard way, and that experience pays off in games like this. Texas 28, Vanderbilt 21 — and honestly, why would I pick anyone besides Texas?

Would be really surprised if Arkansas doesn’t take a long look.

NCAA Brainstorms: “How Can We Ruin College Sports Faster?” I can not fathom how the NCAA could reason out this was a good idea. They almost let athletes start betting on pro sports this weekend, and thank God Sankey and the SEC presidents slammed the brakes. Seriously, what planet are these people on? We’ve got pros with million-dollar contracts and layers of oversight getting themselves indicted over gambling, and the NCAA thought a bunch of 19-year-olds with NIL cash and Instagram DMs sliding in from bookies would handle it better? That’s insane. It’s not just “bad optics,” it’s flat-out dangerous. Once you normalize gambling for players, the lines blur instantly — integrity goes out the window, careers get compromised, and every shady operator in the world smells blood. The NCAA is supposed to protect competition, not hand it over to DraftKings. The rule is “delayed” three weeks, but it needs to be torched permanently. The NCAA is the dodo bird of college sports — useless, outdated, and stumbling its way into extinction. And if this is their idea of leadership, the sooner they go extinct, the better.

Watching the circus at LSU really does make you appreciate the stretch we’ve had with Eltife. The Abbott-appointed board hasn’t churned out a single Perry-era Regent clown show, and that’s no small thing. Eltife’s handled this like a pro — world-class chairman, steady rep for UT, and the kind of leadership that keeps us out of the tabloid mess other schools are living in.

Sark’s playing it smart here — keep the offense steady, let Vandy guess, and don’t hand them a free scouting report. Truth is, Arch gives you the off-script juice with his legs, but Caldwell’s résumé shows he can work the system: quick game, screens, and those intermediate throws that Sark loves to dial up. No need to reinvent the wheel, just execute. And honestly, with this defense playing at the level it is, Texas doesn’t need Superman at QB on Saturday. Just someone steady enough to move the chains and protect the ball. Whether it’s Arch or Caldwell, this is still Texas’ game to lose.

Imagine leaving a stable gig to run Oklahoma State’s offense… that’s like trading a steakhouse job (even if it is in Collie Station) for managing a Golden Corral

If contracts were crawfish boils, Woodward served up a cold cornydog with mayo and rasins

Only in Louisiana could a governor stroll into a press conference and drop a live grenade on his state’s flagship football program. Jeff Landry didn’t just criticize Brian Kelly’s contract — he called it “terrible.” Then he went for the encore: announcing that AD Scott Woodward won’t be hiring the next coach, and for good measure tossing in that he’d rather have Donald Trump running the search than Woodward. That’s not just throwing someone under the bus; that’s backing over them twice and revving the engine. Forget the X’s and O’s for a second. The bigger question here is how in the world Woodward keeps his job after being humiliated by the governor on live mic. Athletic directors are supposed to be power brokers, not political punching bags. When the governor of your state says out loud he doesn’t trust you to pick a coach, your credibility just went up in smoke faster than a Mike the Tiger pregame fireworks show. So now LSU has a coach with a “terrible” contract, an AD who’s been neutered by the governor, and a political sideshow that makes the SEC Network look tame. Baton Rouge doesn’t need a coaching search right now — it needs a fire extinguisher.

so funny

So with openings at LSU, Florida, and Penn State, the rumor mill is already churning. Here’s what I’m seeing pop up as early favorites for each spot: LSU Jon Sumrall (Tulane) – feels like the clubhouse leader right now. Joe Brady (Bills OC) – young, flashy, LSU ties, makes some sense. Lane Kiffin – always in the mix when there’s a big SEC job. Florida Lane Kiffin – yep, he’s showing up here too. Eli Drinkwitz (Mizzou) – SEC tested, could be a fit. Jedd Fisch (Washington) – alum, offense-minded, and getting real traction. Penn State Matt Rhule – the favorite, plus ties to PSU. Brian Hartline (Ohio State OC) – recruiting chops, young gun. Will Stein (Oregon OC) – fresh voice, offensive energy. Early days obviously, but that’s the buzz making the rounds. Who do y’all think actually lands where?

50 million buyout