Needing advice.

[Texas fan in Georgia]

I hate to bring this to OTF, but I’m truly looking for guidance, has anybody been through divorce? My wife recently informed me of her intentions which was completely out of no where for me. I feel weird even asking this here, but if I’m being honest, I really have no where else to turn. We were together 8 years, have a child together and I’ve been her daughter’s father for these 8 years.  Just looking for guidance . If not allowed please delete

[Bunk Moreland]

I’m sorry to hear that, brother. Marriage is hard. I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to offer my solidarity and good wishes. I hope you make it through this. 

[Buck Travis]

Very sorry to hear that. I've only seen friends and in-laws go through a divorce. My observation is that you need the meanest attorney you can afford. And probably a counselor to help with the emotional issues. Believe that, in time, you'll be fine. 

[Texas fan in Georgia]

1 minute ago, Bunk Moreland said:

I’m sorry to hear that, brother. Marriage is hard. I don’t have any advice, but just wanted to offer my solidarity and good wishes. I hope you make it through this. 

Thanks man. I hope I do too. Definitely wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy

[UTexas]

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have any advise even after watching almost all of my friends go through the same thing. Just stay strong and rest assured you did everything you could. 
 

As I’ve told all my friends tomorrow is a new day. 

Edited 8 hours ago by UTexas

[Alex Butler]

I’ve been through a divorce, we didn’t have kids but it was definitely a surprise when she told me too. DM me and I’m happy to discuss further.  Sorry you’re going through this. Definitely tough. 

[Tim Longoria]

Been through 2, and what I can tell you is every situation is different. You can message me as well and I'll try to help where I can

[Ace Recruiter]

I haven't been through it, but have a few friends that have. It's a crappy situation for everyone involved and around it. Please do not hesitate to post about it here if it helps. OTF is a community not just a sports forum.

Good luck and keep your head up. 🤘

[Jordan91]

I learned this the hard way. It’s really easy to get married and incredibly hard to divorce. I spent seventeen years (for better or worse) in a marriage I should have left after year three. I always wanted my marriage to be my only marriage. The process is hard but it does get better. I know it’s not something that will make you feel better now, but better days are ahead. Don’t worry about meeting somebody else. Find a way to make yourself happy on your own. Don’t let a relationship define your happiness. The joy comes when you aren’t looking for someone else and then bam you meet somebody. And that somebody will make you want to say thank you to your soon to be ex-wife. 

[Texas fan in Georgia]

7 minutes ago, Jordan91 said:

I learned this the hard way. It’s really easy to get married and incredibly hard to divorce. I spent seventeen years (for better or worse) in a marriage I should have left after year three. I always wanted my marriage to be my only marriage. The process is hard but it does get better. I know it’s not something that will make you feel better now, but better days are ahead. Don’t worry about meeting somebody else. Find a way to make yourself happy on your own. Don’t let a relationship define your happiness. The joy comes when you aren’t looking for someone else and then bam you meet somebody. And that somebody will make you want to say thank you to your soon to be ex-wife. 

I can relate to the should’ve left after 3 years part. We’ve been together 8 total years and it’s never been perfect. I can’t say I regret the relationship bc that’d mean I regret my son, he’s the only good thing to come of it. But I always tried to put the kids and their happiness first. My parents weren’t together at all and I always told myself I wouldn’t put my future kid in that situation and that they wouldn’t grow up with a broken household but some things are out of our control.

[Jordan91]

5 minutes ago, Texas fan in Georgia said:

I can relate to the should’ve left after 3 years part. We’ve been together 8 total years and it’s never been perfect. I can’t say I regret the relationship bc that’d mean I regret my son, he’s the only good thing to come of it. But I always tried to put the kids and their happiness first. My parents weren’t together at all and I always told myself I wouldn’t put my future kid in that situation and that they wouldn’t grow up with a broken household but some things are out of our control.

Spending 14 more years cost me having children. My wife has children and I love them like me own but man I should have left.

[Burnt Orange Horn]

4 hours ago, Texas fan in Georgia said:

I hate to bring this to OTF, but I’m truly looking for guidance, has anybody been through divorce? My wife recently informed me of her intentions which was completely out of no where for me. I feel weird even asking this here, but if I’m being honest, I really have no where else to turn. We were together 8 years, have a child together and I’ve been her daughter’s father for these 8 years.  Just looking for guidance . If not allowed please delete

Take everything you can get and be the best father you can for your daughter.  It does not sound like this was a completely spontaneous act, so be prepared emotionally. It is all about what you can provide your daughter, now.

[Kevin C]

Hate to hear when anyone goes through divorce, it sucks for everyone, especially the kids.   Having a great atty and strong support system makes all the difference so you can focus on being the best dad you can be.   That is what matters most now.  
 

My brother in law went through divorce in the Austin area and his atty was incredible.   Message me if you want referral.   Highly recommend.    Good luck!! 

[Jc Dobbs]

Sorry to hear this, but...#1 admit it's over and allow your attorney to be as tough as needed because your spouse will, and get ready to hear her say and do things that will be hard for you to stomach.

#2 Sit down with your child and promise you will always be there to help and you will never leave and tell them you love them unconditionally and define that for them. Keep your promise.

#3 Take your attorney's advice. He/she does it for a living and has seen it all before.

For me...19 years of marriage and first few were good, but I realized my Ex didn't really want a husband, but she really did want an ATM.

My daughter was 10 and I stayed in her life even though my Ex moved out of state with her. She's now 29 and I have an excellent relationship with her and she's a UT alum (BS '17 with Highest Honors).

I've been single for 20 years now and actually prefer it...my Ex got remarried within a couple of years and I never speak to her. BTW, we had no infidelity, alcohol or drug issues. Ex filed for a legal separation and then I filed for divorce and we lived in a No Fault state.

Finally... realize you have to hit the reset button of Life and this will be financially difficult. How difficult? It's when I gave up my Season Tickets in 29U and had held the tickets for decades. Damn difficult!

Dedicate yourself to your religion and your friends and your Longhorns family. Keep that promise to your kid.

Best wishes and let me know if I can be of help.